Portal fans, make note! From the minds that brought you the Automatic Cake Dispensary, we’ve been hard at work doing what we must, because we can. At last, a huge success, a veritable triumph of technology and bewonderment. We present Custom Portal Wall Posters! Simply aim your Portal Gun at a wall, set down the Portal Gun, and then hang up your custom poster, for maximum effect.
Guaranteed to cover your wall, tabletop, or flat plane of choice, this portal boasts nearly a 70% reduction in radiation from most standard Aperture Laboratories portals. Simply send us your picture, our Resizing and Dithering Operating System (RaDOS for short) will make all necessary adjustments and precautions for deployment, and you’ll receive your custom portal print in a Tubular Mailing Apparatus (which incidentally can double as a sword or billy club).
Get a matched set to cover two locations, full or mini-posters to adorn your bedroom, office or workplace! Make your friends jealous! Enrage, frustrate and confuse your local AIs! Gaze longingly into its depths at places you may never see, or see loved ones in far off lands. Choose between energetic and enticing orange, and mystical swirling blue portal. Buy a matched pair of posters to connect your portals and save!
Brought to you by Geekify Inc, where no cake is ever a lie.
**Please note that for best results, pictures of at least 6 megapixels are advised. Allow 5-7 business days to make and ship your portal**